Astrological Archetypes

Aries: I’m the Star Trek motto, going where no one else has gone before. Cross me and I’ll mow you down. I don’t give a shit.

Taurus: I cultivate and civilize what Aries discovers. I’ve also got some secrets that no one will uncover.  I’m vying with Scorpio for the most stubborn sign. Give me a plot of land and I’ll bring you food, sustenance.

Gemini: I collect information and then disseminate it, far and wide. I’m the messenger who takes what Aries discovers and what Taurus cultivates, and hand it off to Cancer. Ha. But hey, I also seduce you with my words and my stories.

Cancer: Ha? Bro, you need therapy, honest introspection. I embrace Aries, Taurus, even you, Gemini. Let me help you. I am MOM. I am TRUST.  I am NURTURING LOVE

Leo: Seriously? This is a real conversation? C’mon, you guys. Let’s go party with Sadge. Let me lead you. Let me show you how.

Virgo: Details, folks, details. How does  the mosaic fit together? How do all these intricate pieces create a whole? Why do I feel like I’m out here on a limb by myself? Huh?

Libra:  Banging my gavel, listen up. Each of you has a piece of the cosmic puzzle, okay? Now, can we all be friends? Please? Can we go find something to do that we all love?

Scorpio: OMG. They’re all missing the point, the absolute bottom line. It’s mythological, you idiots. Profound. Wake up! We’re trapped in the matrix. Who’s leading us out of this weirdness?

Sagittarius: I’ve got tickets to a vision quest on the island of Mykonos in Greece. Give me mushrooms and let’s  go find the truth. All of you are my friends  until you prove to be otherwise and then, oh yeah, dudes, bye-bye.

Capricorn:  I’m scaling mountains one painful step at a time and you guys want to trip  in Greece? Why? Convince me that I should go.  Explain it. Lay out your case. How does this enhance my resume?

Aquarius: Cappy, c’mon,  You have ambition but lack vision. You have goals but don’t understand your personal quest. Your endurance is unsurpassed but…where’s your passion? Me, I’m into the family of man. Give me your visionaries…

Pisces:  C’mon, you guys. All of you. Let’s go dance with the collective. Let’s be visionaries and optimists. Let’s go find a woods or an ocean and meditate and dream  and visualize what we desire. A planet united.




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8 Responses to Astrological Archetypes

  1. blah says:

    bozos parents have (birthdays a metaphoric 78 calendar days before “and” after their one son’s b.d.) he bashfully admits,,,, have three decedents,,,, 2 sons,,, one grandchild,, an Aires.., Leo,,, Sag…. sort of like a lotto (while hanging with 3 relatives…) drawing from a day in “98”,, all 6 #’s divisible by 3…..

  2. CJ says:

    Gotta give a thumbs up to all this! Hubby is a Scorpio, Cancer rising….nuff said. Oldest son is Aries, Sadge rising; middle son is Aquarius, Scorpio rising; youngest son is perched on the Leo-Virgo fence but mostly Leo, Cancer rising. Me…a mountain climbing goat: Capricorn with Cancer rising and Moon. We are an astrological soup and I’m the lone female trapped in this testosterone stew! Your insights for each is funny yet true! HELP!!!!!!! Sometimes the Cancer in me wants to dig a hole in the sand and crawl inside it to hide! However, the stew is usually quite palatable and fun, even when the individual planets collide! Thanks for the astro glimpses !

  3. Shadow says:

    Ha ha ha, and strangely true *grin*

  4. lauren raine says:

    Absolutely true! Four astrological jokes:

    –How many Aquarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: As many as can form a circle and raise the light.
    –How many Virgos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: That clearly depends upon the velocity of the bulb, the height of the receptacle, the dust quotient and age factor of both the bulb and the receptacle, the………
    –How many Scorpios does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Scorpios only do it in the dark.
    –How many Leos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Enough about light bulbs! Let’s talk about ME!

    sorry, couldn’t help myself……….

  5. Adela says:

    Hey Trish – put all those characters together in a novel or movie. Or maybe you did that already. 🙂

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