6 Reasons Why You Should Avoid the News

And the first reason is Trump’s hair!

And now, the other 5 reasons:

I want a military parade.

 Hello, Fascism. Kim Jung Yung loves his military parades. So does Putin. So did Hitler. Every day we’re more like North Korea.

Trump orders high-ranking Pentagon officials to hold a ‘grand military parade’ through the streets of DC for him

I’m going to vomit now.

Democrats are treasonous for not clapping during my brilliant State of the Union speech.

 Uh, Donald. Look at Obama’s State of the Union speeches, beautiful pieces of oratory. Your repug counterparts didn’t clap. One of them even shouted out that Obama was a liar.

Treason, you moron, is the crime of betraying one’s country, especially by attempting to kill the sovereign or overthrow the government. It’s not about not clapping for you.

 Those shithole countries.

 Oh, you mean the ones where the people aren’t white with orange hair and don’t weigh 300 pounds and spend more hours on the golf course than Obama ever did and eat McDonald’s burgers and fries in bed? Those countries?

Time to collectively gag – and then vomit.

Shut down the government.

 Because….it makes your fictional base happy? Who constitutes your base, Donald? Oh, wait, I remember. The racists, white nationalists, gun happy idiots who really believed you would save them from the horrors of Obamacare – only to discover they ccan’t afford health insurance now.  The ones your tax overhaul supposedly helped to the tune of $1.50 more a week (a Paul Ryan employee), and the ones who saw you as a political rogue rather than the demented, narcissistic, mentally ill man you are.

I can beat Oprah.

 Yeah. Good luck with that, Dude, if she decides to run.

These are just 6 reasons to avoid watching the news. Every day, this number multiplies so quickly that by next week, there may be 5000 reasons why you shouldn’t bother tuning in. Rob trump of his TV time and he[‘ll wither, shrink, his hair will fly off his head, and he’ll be exposed as the naked emperor that he is.

I can’t believe this pathetic human being is a member of the human species and prez of the U.S. I woke up in an alternative reality. So, please, can I go back into that reality where sanity stood at the helm?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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6 Responses to 6 Reasons Why You Should Avoid the News

  1. C.J. says:

    My psychic/intuitive/medical prediction remains: that his HEALTH ISSUES will bring about his demise.

  2. C.J. says:

    I understand what you are expressing, but for me, it isn’t registering as laughter, unfortunately. I’d like to share a true story with you that I once read in a Hans Holzer book. There was a group of several women who met once a week for brunch and simple enjoyment. They lived in the same upper-class community and were neighbors. All of them were in their early thirties. There was another neighbor who was never invited to these get-togethers because all the other women looked down their noses at her. She had been raised in a much less privileged part of town, was shy, wore clothes that didn’t come from Saks Fifth Avenue. But she was a good soul with a kind personality. Each week at their little gathering, these women never failed to throw mental daggers at the woman, cruel, mean, hurtful words. WORDS are THINGS. They have tremendous power and can be used to hurt and to heal…both ends of the spectrum. (Anyone who performs rituals is aware of the power inherent in words.)
    One afternoon the ladies were at their usual gossipy togetherness, and they decided to join thoughts and direct the singular thought toward the woman. The thought was
    one of hatefulness and ugliness. Like a bullet shot from a gun, the thought form hit the woman. Later that afternoon, she was found dead from a heart attack, altho she was young, perfectly healthy and had no prior heart issues. She died from the combined thought form of the women at the brunch, which Dr. Holzer wrote is more common than we realize, and therefore we need to monitor our thoughts lest they hurt others. I’ve never forgotten that story, yet I know how terribly difficult it is to prevent ourselves from having negative thoughts. I’m thinking that instead of tossing ‘slings and arrows’ toward the current administration and its negative impacts on our country, perhaps we might shift our focus and replace those thoughts with images of our country being’in balance’, and Americans being happier and fulfilled. Worth a try?

  3. lauren raine says:

    I feel it’s important to remain informed, but watching the dismantling of my country, the disregard for the constitution, the rise of fascism, and at it’s head this immoral, incompetant fool and tool………overwhelms me so often I can barely move. On bad days I feel that America is over, at least any America I ever lived in.

    I do not share your optimism, I wish I did. When the heavy hand of repression, propaganda and fascism descends, it is very hard to remove it. Democracy dies and fear becomes the base……….I hope this arising of the ugly shadow of America has the effect you suggest, certainly there are hopeful signs, including the recent Women’s March and the huge number of women and progressive democrats getting ready to run in the midterms. But it is also stunning how this american fascism keeps happening, depressing indeed to see the way it just keeps being allowed to happen. There are any number of things that, from the get go, should have disqualified trump from even running, let alone holding the powerful office of president. There are so many things already that should have brought him into impeachment. Why, one really has to ask, does nothing happen? One atrocity after another, one loss of sanity and dignity after another. Is there a democracy any more?

    • Rob and Trish says:

      I agree on every point, Lauren.

      To me, this is a worse state than Nixon and what led up to watergate. It’s not about hating a person or a system. It’s about recognizing the pattern that’s unfolding and that pattern looks grim and scary. So I resort to laughter, trump and his admin as buffoons.

  4. C.J. says:

    I wonder….are we even TRYING to apply ANY tiny smidgen of our spiritual values and convictions to the political arena? It disturbs me, because negative attracts negative, and I think when we push our spiritual endeavors aside and constantly blast ANY person or group with venom, it will eventually manifest within our own lives. This awareness leads me to wonder if we might at the very least ATTEMPT to perhaps discover WHY we (as a national family) have brought ourselves into this maelstrom of vicious hate, and send as much positive energy as we can muster into the dire circumstances. In that way, perhaps we might create positive change. By no means am I a ‘goody two-shoes’. I’ve simply seen, and experienced in my own personal life, the damage that can come from such vitriolic hatred. If we are able to perceive that the Universe (our Group Super-Consciousness) may be testing our ability to raise our vibrations by putting this man where he is, and could be offering us an opportunity to rise above the darkness, is worth thinking about. For me, anyway, it’s worth a shot. (No pun intended!) 🙂 If we continue on this black path, the consequences may be inescapably dire. It’s damn hard to mentally and SINCERELY enclose DJT inside a pink cloud, but I’m trying. The tide can never be turned by hate. We know that. So the alternative could bring the change we so desperately desire. Hate is a boomerang. And so is Love.

    • Rob and Trish says:

      It’s not hate, CJ. It’s laughter. Rather than railing at trump and his antics, even the media is starting to laugh about him. To me, trump is the dark pocket of the collective psyche of America, the man who has shown us that racism is still rampant, that poverty still exists in this country, that phobias against non-whites are real. My hope is that at some point people collectively say, enough, and he’ll go away.