The man at the top of the post is now known among the dog park people as a notorious poop bag thief. Weird, right?
Today at the dog park, several of us were standing around, chatting and tossing balls and Frisbees for our dogs, when I noticed a man at the poop bag dispensary pulling out reams of the yellow bags that are for picking up your dog’s waste. He didn’t have a dog with him and was stuffing the yellow bags into a larger paper bag. I kept watching him and thought that maybe he couldn’t figure out how to pull along the dotted lines that separate one bag from another. I turned to Sharon.
“Hey, look at that guy.”
She glanced around and laughed. “What the hell?”
He continued to do and must have stuffed hundreds of the yellow bags into his larger bag when Sharon and I started toward him. “Excuse me, sir,” Sharon said. “What’re you doing?”
“It’s none of your business,” he snapped, and kept jerking out more bags.
“That’s theft,” I said.
“Fuck off,” he replied. “I pay taxes.”
“Hey,” I said. “So do I, but that doesn’t entitled me to steal poop bags. Leave some for the dog owners.”
“Fuck off,” he said again.
Just then, Jaime came into the park with her two dogs, saw that something was going on. “This guy’s stealing poop bags,” I said.
She immediately raised her phone and snapped several photos of him. “These pictures are going to the city.”
With that, he hurried out the gate. Jaime followed him to his car, snapped a picture of his license plate. “I’ll have your name by tomorrow.”
“You fat c***,” he said.
She just laughed. And then he lunged at her. She stepped back, he got into his Audi, and drove off.
Bag dispensaries used to be outside the park, near the parking lot, but last year the city moved them all inside the park because someone kept emptying the dispensaries. We’re betting he’s the culprit.
What possesses someone to steal several hundred dog poop bags? Does he own packs of dogs? Does he sell these bags on ebay? Is he some demented old man who fills his closet with these things? He may be just another South Florida eccentric whose brain has been fried by the tropical sun.