The Poop Bag Thief

The man at the top of the post is now known among the dog park people as a notorious poop bag thief. Weird, right?

Today at the dog park, several of us were standing around, chatting and tossing balls and Frisbees for our dogs, when I noticed a man at the poop bag dispensary pulling out reams of the yellow bags that are for picking up your dog’s waste. He didn’t have a dog with him and was stuffing the yellow bags into a larger paper bag. I kept watching him and thought that maybe he couldn’t figure out how to pull along the dotted lines that separate one bag from another. I turned to Sharon.

“Hey, look at that guy.”

She glanced around and laughed. “What the hell?”

He continued to do and must have stuffed hundreds of the yellow bags into his larger bag when Sharon and I started toward him. “Excuse me, sir,” Sharon said. “What’re you doing?”

“It’s none of your business,” he snapped, and kept jerking out more bags.

“That’s theft,” I said.

“Fuck off,” he replied. “I pay taxes.”

“Hey,” I said. “So do I, but that doesn’t entitled me to steal poop bags. Leave some for the dog owners.”

“Fuck off,” he said again.

Just then, Jaime came into the park with her two dogs, saw that something was going on. “This guy’s stealing poop bags,” I said.

She immediately raised her phone and snapped several photos of him. “These pictures are going to the city.”

With that, he hurried out the gate. Jaime followed him to his car, snapped a picture of his license plate. “I’ll have your name by tomorrow.”

“You fat c***,” he said.

She just laughed. And then he lunged at her. She stepped back, he got into his Audi, and drove off.

Bag dispensaries used to be outside the park, near the parking lot, but last year the city moved them all inside the park because someone kept emptying the dispensaries. We’re betting he’s the culprit.

What possesses someone to steal several hundred dog poop bags? Does he own packs of dogs? Does he sell these bags on ebay? Is he some demented old man who fills his closet with these things? He may be just another South Florida eccentric whose brain has been fried by the tropical sun.




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9 Responses to The Poop Bag Thief

  1. C.J. says:

    Maybe the guy is homeless and uses the bags for his OWN poop? 🙂 On a more serious note, he could be using them for nefarious and illegal purposes such as distributing
    drugs, etc. He could be a “hoarder”. We see them on TV occasionally. In any event, he ain’t acting “NORMAL” !!!!!!!!!!

  2. Vicki DeLaurentis-momwithwings says:

    I use plastic bags when I clean the litter box.
    No matter what he uses them for be careful. Anyone who would use that language has violent tendencies.

  3. lauren raine says:

    Funny! I use bags I get from the recycled bag box at supermarkets for packaging material when I ship things – the plastic bags work great. Maybe he does the same? Or uses them for some kind of insulation?

    His hostile attitude is a different matter…….who knows. There are lots of lonely, embittered old people out there, and they find ways to act out their frustration.

  4. That’s great that you got those pictures to nail him. He is crazy gross.

  5. John says:

    You know, you have to think that this guy has been wronged by the system somehow, and this is the only thing he believes he has the power to do to show revolt. Or perhaps the guy just has to take a poop, haha. Seriously though, it’s sad to see someone that thinks this way.