Dale’s Mom


As writers, it’s always gratifying when we hear that something we’ve written has had a positive impact on someone. We received this email from Dale Dassell about the post called A Kindred Spirit.

Rob & Trish,

Thank you so much for this uplifting post on your blog. It gives me hope in this time of sadness in our family. My mom has been a cancer patient for two years (diagnosed with lung cancer in July 2014), and she has taken a turn for the worse. The cancer spread to her brain in December, when she underwent surgery to remove a tumor. She seemed to be recovering well (under pain medication) until recently when an MRI revealed the cancer had moved to her spine. A round of targeted radiation treatments were applied to the small spots, and then she became ill almost immediately after. We’ve just spent a week with her in the hospital, and she is now back home with us under hospice care because the cancer returned to her brain again. Doctors initially said that she has about a month or so left, but she is very sedated, weak, and incapable of swallowing (food or medicine), and the hospice people advised us that, realistically, she probably has a week or so left.

Dad and I are trying to keep her as comfortable as possible, just as we always promised her. Mom was always practical and matter-of-fact about her cancer, and has been preparing us for it since the beginning, which is a blessing now because her words have given us strength to carry on amid our grief. She’s been sedated and sleeping since her stay in the hospital, and it’s just a matter of time now. Last night I told her that I loved her very much, and she replied: “I love you, too. I’m so proud of you.”

This afternoon I was outside with our dogs while the nurse was visiting to check on Mom’s condition, sitting on the patio when something flew into my shirt and landed on my chest. I reached into my shirt and found a ladybug crawling on my hand. I’ve always considered ladybugs a sign of good luck and happiness, and immediately realized it as a sign from Mom. I mentally spoke to it, promising that Dad and I would keep her as comfortable as possible until she leaves us, how much we love her, and I asked her to give us a sign when she reaches the other side. The ladybug remained perfectly still on the tip of my index finger (for about 10 minutes while I grieved), then a gusty wind swept across the yard and it flew off into the clear blue sky, carrying my promise away. My spirit is lifted, but it will still be devastating when she passes.

I confess that although I picked up Synchronicity and the Other Side when it was first published, I have yet to read it. But I will be doing to in the near future, I know. Thank you both for reassuring us that life continues beyond this physical plane, and showing how to connect with our loved ones. I received a dream message from my grandmother six months after her death in late 1999, and she told me that she was fine and not to be sad. Now I know that Mom will be with her soon, and that gives me hope and serenity.

– Dale

Our thoughts are with you and your mom and family, Dale.


Update: Dale’s mom passed this afternoon at 5:52 PM

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13 Responses to Dale’s Mom

  1. Dale Dassel says:

    The kind wishes and positive thoughts are truly appreciated. Aside from the occasional crying jags, we’re feeling surprisingly calm since Mom’s passing, due to a number of remarkable signs that we have received since Friday. We know that Mom is happy and well on the other side. We had the time together that we were supposed to have, and everything will be fine. Thank you all so very much for your support.

  2. A moving post and understand Dale’s feelings and emotions. I can only add that my own experiences have convinced me that we do live on.

  3. Darren B says:

    My heart goes out to you and your family Dale.
    My mother is also battling (what looks to be a losing battle at this point) lung cancer and is now on an experimental drug treatment, since the chemo wasn’t working.
    She is losing weight, so it doesn’t look like it is working to me.
    Funny thing is she never smoked in her life.
    I on the other hand took up smoking as a way to lower the stress of going through my recent divorce and house sale, my father’s dementia and placement in a home, my sub-normal brother’s placement in a home and my mother’s cancer.
    Although, I only have one a day at this point, as a time out from life.
    If it doesn’t rain, it f#ckin pours.
    I’m 100% sure that there is life after death Dale, but that doesn’t make life down here much easier when the s#it hits the fan.
    There was an Australian Prime-minister named Malcolm Fraser who was quoted as saying , “Life wasn’t meant to be easy”.
    And this was quoted in the media in Australia a lot when I was growing up.
    I resented Fraser for taking over as Prime-minister of Australia when my favourite Prime-minister of Australia Gough Whitlam was sacked by the Queen and replaced by Fraser.
    In fact I never liked Fraser until, as fate would have it, I ran into him at the Byron Bay Writer’s Festival, a few months before he died and got him to sign two books for me.
    One was a book about Gough Whitlam which I tricked him into signing and one was the last book that Malcolm would write.
    We actually had a bit of a chat and I got to see Malcolm in a different light after our meeting and listening to his book talk and my dislike for him over all those years growing up melted away as I saw him for the human being he was.
    A few months later Gough Whitlam passed away and I saw Malcolm on TV attending his funeral and then unexpectedly months later Malcolm passed away…and I shed a few tears that I never thought I would.
    I wrote a post about meeting Malcolm that day along with a few photos I took of him at this link –
    I agree with Malcolm that life wasn’t meant to be easy, but it seems it was meant to be truly weird.

  4. c.j. says:

    Natalie, you will be such a great influence at your church, and have so much to offer those who are starving for some kind of reassurance and comfort from Elsewhere! Please do let us know how it goes….but no doubt it will be beautiful!

  5. natalie says:

    I am glad you are finding ways of comfort, Dale. They will never be enough, but they will lead you to a more peaceful place down the track.
    I love Connie’s image of the invisible ,but real circle of love. It’s a synchro too, as my speech on Sunday night is entitles Invisible Structures. Now I know I’m on the right wavelength. 🙂

  6. c.j. says:

    Dale, may your beloved Mother have a peaceful Crossing, and may you and your family find comfort in the certain knowledge that she will be simply closing one door and opening another. The grief is palpable and inexpressible, and you have our empathy and thoughts. I would like to share something here that I had intended to share with Trish and Rob in an e-mail later today: Night before last, in my sleeping dream, I was visited by a person who had been my very closest “buddy friend” for several years when we were in high school and college. His name was Franklin, and in the dream, he told me he had crossed over to The Other Side. We lost touch with each other, as folks do, and I had not had any contacts with Franklin for some time. But yesterday,after the dream of him, I searched, asking for guidance to confirm his passing. I was astonished to be guided to the funeral home in the very small GA town where he had lived, and I discovered that yes, Franklin has moved to The Other Side. (His obituary was placed online by the funeral home on 1-4.) So he still is very, very much alive, and he came to tell me “hello” in my dream, letting me know he remains in touch. Your Mom will find her way to do the same….meanwhile, again, you and yours are in an invisible but REAL Circle of Love as you must journey through the pain of losing her physical presence.

  7. Kathleen says:

    Very inspiring story. Wishing you and your family love and positive energy to see you through this most difficult time in your live.

    I agree with Adele ~ I love the art work too.

  8. I love the image you chose here. I wish I had created it myself. For one thing I love hands and have a collection of them – one arriving in the mail some time today. And the image is very I Ching. Fire and Water linked. Water over Fire, Hexagram 63, After completion and Fire over Water, hexagram 64, before completion. In the I Ching, hexagram 64 signifies the new beginning – i.e. the never ending circle of changes.